Ever have one of those days where nothing seems to go right and there's no one to turn to?  Being on this rollercoaster of emotions is somewhat overwhelming at times.  Today I feel like I'm all alone, lacking significant friendship.  Somewhere along the road, I grew up and failed to realize that my friends weren't joining me.  Today, I realized it.  And once you've realized that you've outgrown your friends, where do you begin to look for new ones?  I have spent numerous years with these people, day in and day out.  It is too difficult to just forget them and move on.......yet, it is too painful to stay in a relationship that is only one-sided.  All I wanted all day long today was to have someone to dump my problems on..........I wasn't looking for solutions, just someone to vent to.  After several failed attempts, I have come to the realization that these friendships would probably have ceased to exist long ago had I let them.  Why do I find it nearly impossible to let go?  I have known for awhile that several of these friendships were probably more draining than they were worth, yet I continued to hold on.  Maybe it's just because I am afraid of being all alone, and partial friendship is better than none.  I really don't have any idea why I'm feeling so down in the dumps today, but this needs to pass and FAST.  Well, tomorrow can't be any worse than today!

  Wow!  It's been close to a month since I've done any updating to this space.  I have been tremendously busy with school and the kids.  In less than two weeks, it will be mid-term already.  I can't believe how fast time has flown.  So far my classes are going rather well and I'm right on track with clinicals also.

 

  I'm now in my second trimester of this pregnancy, and things are going well there as well.  (Aside from the recent hospital stay for a nasty kidney infection, things are well!)

 

  I'm sure there is a lot more going on in my life, but at the current moment I seem to be at a loss for words.  I just don't have the motivation to go into further detail right now.  Nothing's really changed, but I am finding myself more introverted with each passing day.  Also, being pregnant, I am a whirlwind of emotions changing from moment to moment.  Weighing the heaviest on my mind is a decision an acquaintance of mine recently made.  After discovering that she is pregnant (YET AGAIN) and unwilling to make any sacrifices in her life, she has decided to get an abortion.  I realize that abortion is a personal choice and that it is up to the individual, however, I personally feel that abortion should not be used as a method of birth control.  I realize this topic can lead to all sorts of debates, so before I go off on a tangent and get anyone riled up, I'll just leave it at this:  life's not always going to be easy & we're not always going to like the cards we're dealt.....however, there are lessons to be learned by the mistakes that we make.......and running and hiding from them will get you nowhere.

 

  My dad hasn't been supportive of any of my pregnancies, but as much as I love him, I have chosen life for my babies each and every time.  Things change when you come face to face with that little angel.  I know for a fact my dad would be lost without his grandchildren and I anticipate the same this time around.  I can't imagine where I would be right now if I had taken the easy way out just to save face.  My kids have made me who I am today.  It is because of them that I am pushing myself so hard to succeed, so that I can provide a decent life for them.